~jULyAnGeL wiTh nO hALo~

    last april 05, 2005, i dreamt about him.. i really didn’t expect that he’ll be in my dreams. they say that when you think of him the most, he’ll be existing even in your deepest sleep, but i swear, i never thought of him.  i almost swear "to hell with him", because i really think he’s boastful, irresponsible crap.  but after that dream, everything became opposite.. totally opposite.

    because of another incident, i almost hated him.  it seems like am really stupid for their eyes.  he never did apologize, simply because it’s not in his vocabulary, but he has his own ways of apologizing.  he promised me one thing, and up to now, he’s not forgetting it… and now, here i am, falling for him.

    i hate this, not because i don’t like him, but because everyday, i’m beginning to like him more and more.  i’m already committed for almost 3 years now, and yet, my head began searching for another man. duh… it’s not that am not contented with the one i loved since may 29, 2002… there is just something different in this new guy that makes me fell for him.  oh my GOD!! what am i saying??

    i’m really a one-man woman.. am really serious when it comes to my relationship. but what a shit! i’m also admiring this man… or maybe a lot more than that now. i really don’t know why stupid cupid one day planned to stroke an arrow to me.  i think i really couldn’t escape in this.  the only thing i knew now is that i’m happy everytime i see him, and i hope, he’ll never be out of my sight again.

    but, there will be changes after 2 weeks or so.. management said that they’ll be doing a major re-shuffling.  there’s a big chance that i’ll soon be away.. hope so, so that i could think more.. and i could escape in whatever crap am i feeling now..

    my GOD… i swear i love my boyfriend.. but am beginning to love this new guy too.. am i that bad??  sorry, but it’s what i feel now… but then again… i still love my boyfriend so much… so much…

~ by julyangel11 on May 5, 2005.